What Women Really Think About Your Dick Pic—Unless We Crave It Like A Bucket Of KFC.

(Spoiler alert: We have a vault, we’ve seen it all, and unless we’re obsessed with you, your unsolicited cock close-up is about as arousing as a cold plate of leftovers.)

IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY DICK PIC I’VE RECEIVED…

Men love sending dick pics. You guys think your cock is some magic key that unlocks instant arousal. Like the second we see it, we’re going to drop our panties, touch ourselves, and beg you to come over.

Reality check: That’s not how women work.

If I had a dollar for every dick pic I’ve received over the years, I’d be driving a Maserati. I have a vault of unsolicited dicks—some impressive, some tragic, some that look like they’ve been through war, and a shocking number that comes with toilet seats up in the background.

Trust me, if you think we’re just zooming in on your head to estimate size, you’re dead wrong.

Women notice everything. The unmade bed. The laundry pile. The crusty phone charger covered in dust. The weird shadow that makes your balls look like alien eggs. We see it all.

And unless we’re already obsessed with you unless we’re craving you the way a drunk girl craves drive-thru nuggets at 2 a.m., your dick pic is doing nothing for us.

It’s worse than that—it’s turning us off.

So, let’s talk about why.

1. WHY YOUR DICK PIC ISN’T GETTING YOU LAID

Men are visual. Women are mental.

Men get hard when they see something hot. Women get wet when they feel something hot.

This is why a well-written text, a teasing voice message, or the right combination of words can do more to turn a woman on than the most enormous, prettiest dick on the planet.

Your cock alone is not the ticket to seduction.

It’s about the build-up. The anticipation. The reason she wants to see it.

If she’s already dripping for you if she’s already thinking about you while she’s touching herself?

Then yes, your dick pic is gold.

But if she’s just scrolling through her day and you drop a random dick bomb into her inbox?

It’s getting ignored, laughed at, or sent straight to the group chat.

2. WHAT WOMEN REALLY THINK WHEN YOU SEND THAT PIC

Here’s what goes through our minds when a man sends us an unsolicited cock shot:

• “Oh, another one for the vault.” (Seriously, we could make an entire art gallery at this point.)

• “Did he send this to 10 other women too?” (Answer: Probably.)

• “Why does he think this is attractive?” (Hint: It’s not about the look of your dick—it’s about who it belongs to.)

• “Why are his sheets so wrinkled?” (Because yes, we notice that shit.)

• “Did he even try to make this sexy?” (Or is this the digital equivalent of throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks?)

Women aren’t against dick pics—we’re against lazy, pointless dick pics.

If you’re going to send one, do it right.

3. HOW TO SEND A DICK PIC THAT ACTUALLY TURNS HER ON

So, do you still want to send her a picture of your masterpiece? That's fine. But let’s at least make sure you do it in a way that makes her want more, not immediately mute your notifications.

(1) Only Send It If She’s Already Into You

The biggest mistake men make? Thinking a dick pic will create attraction.

It won’t.

If a woman isn’t already craving you, your dick is just another random dick in the sea of dicks she didn’t ask for.

But if she’s already thinking about you, already wet for you, already waiting for you to push things further?

Then your dick pic becomes something personal, something hot, something she wants to replay in her mind.

(2) Pair It With a Voice Message

Here’s where men fumble the bag—they think a picture speaks for itself.

Wrong.

A picture is static. A voice message? It’s intimate. It’s immersive. It makes her feel something.

Try this:

• Send the pic and, with it, a slow, deep, controlled voice message.

• Say something like, “I shouldn’t be sending this to you, but I can’t stop thinking about how you looked at me earlier. Tell me… are you touching yourself yet?”

Suddenly? Your dick isn’t just a dick. It’s an experience.

(3) Make It Look Good (Seriously, Put Some Effort In)

If you’re going to send it, at least make it fucking presentable.

• Put the toilet seat down.

• Clip your nails.

• Check your lighting. No weird shadows, no grainy bathroom mirror selfies.

• Clean your sheets. If they look like they belong in a college dorm, she’s dry.

• Angle matters. Nobody wants a tragic, looking-down-at-your-balls shot.

Take a second. Set the mood. Make it look like you actually give a shit.

Trust me; we’re analyzing every detail.

4. IF SHE LIKES YOUR DICK, SHE’LL WANT MORE—KEEP IT INTERESTING

Now, let’s say she’s into it. She actually liked the picture, so she sent something back.

Good. But don’t get lazy.

Just as you’re probably not sending your dick selfie to just one woman, she’s not just getting yours, either. Sorry, not sorry.

So, how do you stay at the top of her list?

(1) Keep Her Wanting More

Instead of just sending another dick pic, escalate differently.

• Send her a tease instead of the full thing.

• Send her a video—slow, controlled, and deliberate.

• Ask her what she’d do if she had it in front of her.

Make her participate. Make her crave the next one.

(2) Mix It Up With Filthy Texts

Sometimes, words are hotter than pictures.

Instead of sending another visual, please describe what you want to do to her.

• “If you were here, you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me.”

• “I want to hear the way your voice shakes when you moan my name.”

• “I’m picturing you on your knees right now, and fuck, I wish I could see you.”

When you make her imagine it? She wants it more.

FINAL THOUGHTS: DICK PICS AREN’T THE PROBLEM—BAD DICK PICS ARE

Women don’t hate dick pics.

We hate unsolicited, lazy, thoughtless, predictable dick pics.

But when they’re done, right? When they’re paired with something that makes them feel intimate, personal, seductive?

Then they’re powerful. Then they make her crave you.

So tell me, guys—are you sending your dick out like a mass marketing email, or are you making her feel like she’s the only one who gets to see it?

Drop your thoughts in the comments. And if you’re guilty of lousy dick pics, well… consider this your wake-up call.

xoxo Ivy